life right now + playing the odds
the odds have not always been in my favor. at least, for a few years that's how it felt. i worried all the time. i just knew the minute i let go of my fear something would happen. something to remind me that i wasn't out of the woods yet.
it was not a great place to be.
finally, it ended. my luck in life turned around. i was happy for an extended amount of time. i wasn't afraid. i felt normal for the first time in my life, maybe even a little boring. and bless you boring! i was never so happy to be boring. no more tragic loss. no more people thinking of me like, wow, i feel really bad for her. nope, not right now.
right now my life is so blissfully average it's fabulous. what i mean is, right now, the universe is letting me have it. it's not dangling a future of "what if" just out of my reach. i'm in love with a man and we're married. we have two boys and they are healthy. i don't stay up at night fearing something bad will happen. i like it when people ask me where i will be in five years. right now i would say traveling through italy. josh and i just decided on that last week. because i think we really will.
of course it could all be swept from under me again. thrown into a dust cloud of emotion, forging my path of uncertainty again. but at least this time i'm not waiting for it like a coward. i am LIVING. making the most of every moment. taking the bite of EVERY APPLE I SEE.
so that's me right now. feeling lucky and playing my odds while they are in my favor. and always stopping for a photo booth opportunity.
those odds are ALWAYS in your favor.